I know that some will think that
I'm lazy but I am more active on
Facebook than here.
Friend me there if you want to
keep up with my Daily Shenanigans
I got thinking that some of
you might not like that Medium
so eventually I will be posting here
some of my best work from
Facebook and other places...
Do not expect anything serious...
Well sometime maybe because
I can be real deep... at some time.
Don't hold your breath since
Life is too short
to be taken seriously...
So... Enjoy !!!
BTW not all of this stuff is from me
but that's the beauty of the Internet
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| Owners manual of the America's |
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| How I feel most night! |
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There are 2 rules for success...
1. Never reveal everything you know
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I'm alone at home now
and I am having a sale.
I have 90% off !!!
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I have to loose weight !
My doctor said that it's
because Obesity
runs in my family.
I explained to him that
NOTHING and NO ONE
RUNS in my family !!!
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I don't get the girls who say...
"It's the best feeling in the World !"
when they remove their bras !
What grinds my gears, is they say
that Guys will never understand ?!?
Actually, when a bra comes off...
it is also the best feeling for US too !
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Ancient Egypt opened the
first multi storey car park.
It was called the
Toot-En-Come-In
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A mummy covered in
chocolate and nuts
has been discovered.
Archaeologists believe
it may be...
"Pharaoh Rocher"
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Sylvie claims that I never listen to her.
One time when I was not paying attention
to what was happening around she asked
me how she looked. I told her...
"With your eyes, Honey !"
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Sylvie thinks I am a GOD !
Well maybe Boudha. But still.
She actually treats me
like one too...
She takes very little notice
of my existence until
she wants something !!!
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| ♪♪ ♪ Ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang, llama llama pig bang ♪ ♪♪ |
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| Anywhere else ??? |
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| Day 46 and NO ONE has caught me yet !!! |
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| This means that my Grand-Dad invented the selfies !!! |
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Received a bowl filled with melted clocks
and brightly colored giraffes this morning.
I ordered the breakfast surreal !!!
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Don't you hate it when,
Like today...
I'm having a nice Hair Day.
Shame I'm having such a bad Face Day !!!
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Again...
Don't you hate it when this happens...
Last night I spent
so much time with
Michael Bublé
Bradley Cooper
and Tom Jones
that this morning
I overslept and
I missed my
Name Droppers
Anonymous
meeting !!!
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I dreamed that one day I'll go to the
park and play chess with old men.....
I wonder where I will have
to go to find 32 of them ???
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Mesmerizing !!!
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This is one of the many reasons why
Leonardo Da Vinci is and was my first
"Super Hero"
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Two nuns are driving down the road
when suddenly a vampire jumps out
and onto their hood.
One of the nuns yells at the other,
"Sister Mary! Show him your cross!"
She jumps out of the car and screams
at the vampire...
"GET THE FUCK OFF MY HOOD!"
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A black dot walks in a bar...
Period
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After a life time of sacrifices
I finally made it as leader of the
Druids
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There's this Crematorium
that is going under because
they are not urning enough
to pay the bills
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Once I met a girl I knew
very well at one point.
She was furious at me
because I did not wave back
when she was waving at me.
But it was mostly because
I didn't bother to swim
out to rescue her !!!
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One time,on our way home from Venice,
closing on Trento, there's a big bend and
Sylvie asked me where we were.
I just replied...
"We are Close but no see GARE !"
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Shouldn't an
Obese Medium
be called
a Large ?
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Really hard crossword clue today...
2 Across - Jesus was nailed to it !
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My family and friends assume
that I must be a very
'bad lover'
because I am having a hard
time learning Italian.
Well, I will let you know that
there is whole lot of other reasons
why I am not a great lover !!!
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When I was younger
I made quite a few experiments
as this one for example...
When I heard that DOGS
were men's best friends
I wanted to see if it was true !
Well it is because try it yourself
and you will find out
that if you put your dog and
your wife in the trunk of
a car for a long time,
the dog is just happy to see you
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Funny, well done and interesting
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My favorite part of winter
is seeing this
from Italy
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The newspaper headline was :
"Small Medium at Large"
It was about a psychic midget
that escaped from jail
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I just got off Skype with my friend in Boston.
He said that since early this morning,
the snow has been nearly
waist high and still falling.
The temperature is dropping way below zero
and the north wind is increasing
to near gale force.
His wife has done nothing
but look through the kitchen window
and just staring.
He said, if it gets much worse,
he may have to let her in.
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I saw a skinny guy getting brutally
beat up by 5 huge guys !
I'm not the hero type, but still
decided to help out...
So, I tripped the skinny guy
when he tried to run away !
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I hope that this will catch on...
Laughed at quite a few !
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When I saw this I immediately thought of
LEEEEROYYYYYYY JENNNNNKINSSSSSS
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When I saw this I could not
help imagining this...
Bird to Squirrel :
"look, I know ya gota the bread
but the boss he says it's a too late,
"GIMME YOUR STASH OF NUTS
or we are a gonna take the ones
attached to ya !!! Capisci ?"
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Ever wonder why we decorate
Christmas trees and not any other trees...
Because it might look like this...
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And finally............
After over a year in Italy
I can now say that I am an
expert in Italian Culture...
Proof !!!
- Everyone drives Scooters even the pigeons,
the nouns and the police.
- The traffic white lines and the
lights on the streets are
just to entertain foreigners.
- Cars and Scooters don't run on gas,
They run on Spaghetti.
- Mario & Luigi are NOT the
President &
Vice-President
of Italy.
- Metal detectors at the
Entrance of the Vatican
are there for comic relief.
If you go through and it beeps,
you get a bowl of Pasta.
- Crepes with Nutella are
only eaten by Tourist.
If, you have chocolate on your
face, ears, shirt, etc.
You are a Tourist !
- The Italian Pigeons are small
Piniatas filled with Spaghetti.
- At the Vatican, Florence, Venice
and almost everywhere else,
you can find calendars of
'Hot Priests and Hot Nuns'.
And you can quote me on that
because I'm an expert at
the Dolce Vita thing !!!
The END - for now
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