Some will say... FINALLY ???

So I am lazy when it comes to writing ! That is probably why I am not a prolific writer like my wife and my daughter, who are both published authors. As a mather of fact here is a shameless plug for my daughter's book. Even if in French it is a marvelous read...

Her book TANCTIA - CLICK HERE

But I have to admit that I, even if I should actually say "WE", have been quite busy. Living the Dolce Vita is way harder than I thought. So many people to see. So many bars to frequent. So many coffees and/or beers and/or wine. Sometime it includes 1, 2 or even the 3. Life is sooo terrible in Italy. Oh and I forget. I am mostly busy recently by helping some people with their English. It goes from from kids to adults. All of them have become dear friends.

And we have been taking weekends here and there, when Sylvie can afford the time. Like this summer she could not take any time off because she's writing a few papers for work. I would have much prefer to do a cruise and go visit 4 or 5 other countries but NO ! We could not afford the time it seem. All water under the bridge because it has been raining here EVERY F#$%^ING DAYS since the end of June. If it's not raining during the day it rains at night.. Weird summer.

Anyway I thought that you might be interested in seeing the last 2 places that we went to visit. Padua and Bologna. We also visited Napoli, Pompeii, Herculaneum, Torre del Greco and the Amalfi Coast. but unfortunately, my camera had problems during our stay and almost all of my pictures were either out of focus or only half of the picture, But Sylvie did a better job so I will include her links.

Here you will find the pictures that I have taken in Padua (Padova or Padou, depending) and I will put the links to the other pictures in case you would like to see what they look like.

So here goes nothing...
A lot of my pictures were destroyed for by a faulty camera. So I have no images of Napoli and the Museum of Archaeology of Napoli. There, they keep the most beautiful pieces from Pompeii and other cities that were covered by the ashes and rocks and lava from the Mont Vesuvio. But after buying a new camera the next day I got back on the saddle and took about 700 pix. All jewels ! But I will spare you the whole bunch by showing you only the most significance and the most interesting  ones from my point of view. If you however wish to see all of them you are welcome to come and visit. This way we will take an evening and show you all that we have plus charming anecdotes of silly things that I, mostly, said and done...

Firstly : These are the only pictures that survived from Torre del Greco. We had rented a very nice house and our guests were quite charming.

Very old hotel near were we stayed - Had supper there - not impressed !

Train Station from where we could go all around the Vesuvio

View from Station and yes in the back it is the Vesuvio.
You can see it from almost everywhere in this area.

The train Station from where every adventure started...

Very nice temperature for that time of year.
I should add "for us !!!"

From our rented house we could see the famous Capri Island and almost all of the Amalfi Coast. It was a superb view. It is a shame that I do not have any pictures to show you. Maybe Sylvie has some about that.

Now we are NOT going to visit Pompeii because I have lost all the pictures that I took there also. But it was very nice and way too big to visit entirely. After a short while a ruin looks exactly like the other ruins you have looked at for 6 hours. We almost had a overdose of culture that day. I would not have missed it for all the gold on earth. Well I do not know why we say that because for that price, I would do this without even batting an eyelash !!! Anyway... Pompeii / No Pix !!!

Now I do have picture of Herculaneum which I have prefered to Pompeii. It was smaller and better preserved. You can visit many houses that are still standing and the paintings on the walls, ceilings and floorings are in most cases were preserved. You will see by the pictures that it was under 500 meters (547 yards or 1641 feet for old folks like me). At some place you the impression of visiting a ghost town like the Western town of young. The shops are many and some you can see the graffiti that were made before the disaster. So it is kind of an old art form that still exist today. Strange ! 
Anyway... Here is Herculaneum !!!

This & That

_________________________________ Make 'em laugh  ♪ ♪ ♫

OK ! So now that I have your attention

here is an explication of the title

This is my 50th Blog. Yea me !
With a following of 3004 souls
I'm the first one surprised.

I didn't have much to really 

justify a Blog entry so I 

dug into my material and here is 

what I came up with. OK ? 

Here goes.........

_____

Some jokes that I have put up on Facebook

and that some didn't see. 

*** For those who have read them on FB skip ahead...

_________

VARIATION ON A THEME

Here are all the jokes that I had about

"A guy goes in a Bar"

Some are very funny

While others are plain stupid 

or worst - VERY SERIOUS

ENJOY !!!

______

A man walks into a bar
You'd think he would've seen it
______

Horse walks into a bar
Bartender says "why the long face ?"
______

A baby seal walks into a club

______

Two whales walk into a bar

The first one says

"Weeeeeooooouuuhhhh"

The next whale says

"Shut up, Steve. You're drunk."

______

A skeleton meanders into a bar

and orders a beer and a mop

______

A grasshopper sits down at the bar.

The bartender says

'hey, I gotta drink named after you'

The grasshopper says

'you have a drink named Anthony ? '

______

A dyslexic man

walks into a bra

______

A three legged dog walks

into a saloon and says

"I'm looking for the man

who shot my paw !!!"

______

An elf, a man, and a wizard

walk into a bar

The hobbit laughs as walks 

under it

______

So a blind man walks into a bar,

a bus stop and a fence.

______

A midget walks into a mini-bar

______

A termite walks into a bar and says

"is the bar tender here ?"

______

Where does a head of lettuce go to get drunk?

A salad bar.

______

Past, Present, and future

walk into a bar....

It was tense.

______

An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, 

restaurant, restaurants, lounge,

tavern, pub, beer, liquor...

______

So a C, an E-flat, and G go into a bar...
The bartender says: 
"Sorry, but we don't serve minors."
So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G
have an open fifth between them. 
After a few drinks, the fifth
is diminished: the G is out flat. 
An F comes in and tries to augment
the situation, but is not sharp enough.
A D comes into the bar and heads straight 
for the bathroom saying, 
"Excuse me, I'll just be a second."
An A comes into the bar,
but the bartender is not convinced
that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding
at the end of the bar and exclaims: 
"Get out now! You're the seventh minor 
I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, 
comes back to the bar the next night 
in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.
The bartender 
(who used to have a nice corporate job 
until his company downsized) says: 
"You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! 
This could be a major development."
This proves to be the case,
as the E-flat takes off 
the suit and stands there au natural. 
Eventually, the C sobers up
and realizes in horror
that he's under a rest.
The C is brought to trial,
is found guilty of contributing 
to the diminution of a minor,
and is sentenced to
10 years of DS without Coda
at an upscale correctional facility.
On appeal, however, the C is found 

innocent of any wrongdoing,

even accidental and that all accusations

to the contrary are baseless. 

The bartender decides,
however, that since he's only had 
tenor so patrons, 
the soprano out in the bathroom,
and everything has become alto
much treble,
he needs a rest
and closes the bar.

______

Here I'll give you 3 jokes

two short and a long one...

1) Joke 

2) Joke 

3) Joooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke

______

A realization for Sylvie. Kind of funny !

Looked outside this afternoon and was appalled to see how there was so much pollution that it was obscuring the mountains on the other side of the valley. When I said this to the guys in the office, Raman Kazhamiakin immediately suggested that, rather than pollution, it was just water vapor from the melting snow, what with the heat and the sun we've been having.

Doh!

Started telling this story to Andre Marcil, and he immediately said, yeah, melting snow. Then he laughed at me and called me a city girl. Hey, I'm Ms. Suburbia to you, bud!

Andre Marcil replied :  And the trophy for the Biggest Face Palm in History goes to...........

______

One in every three people
cheats in their relationships

I'm left wondering ?!?!?!?

Is it my wife or my girl-

friend that is cheating me ?

______

I cannot believe that this exist and if it does, is it an iPoop ???

______

 Next BET I'll wager this !!!

______

So to finish this, newest Blog, I would like 

to tell you that we are doing fine.

The temperature were really warm 

for February and the start of March.

But now, at this date is kind of cool

in the morning and at night because 

of all the snow on the Mountains melting. 

So, it's chilling the air. 

We started heating the house again

because it can get really chilly. 

If I'm cold it says a lot.

But Life as we know it is still good

As you can see in these few pictures

taken on the 30th of March 2014

The Fiume (River) at the bottom of
the mountains near our apartment

The Fiume going toward our house
It ends up in a bigger River called
the Adige

The mountain in the back is the South of the Alps
And the fluffy white you see is SNOW
I LOVE TRENTO !!!

This picture was taken just to annoy Sylvie
All the corn of Italy is used to make the Traditional dish ; The POLENTA
There was a festival of Flavors and at a Polish stand they were serving these.
So I took a picture and sent to Sylvie.

The Devil made me do it ! For Science !!!

Just for good measure...
These are actually what the city is doing since the start of
Spring. Which is the Start of March. Life is so terrible in Italy

This is to hide the ugly site the construction can be.
It was so cute that I took about 10 pictures of
different kids all covered with finger paint.

Why were we never allowed to do this ???

______

I found this and even if old it is the kind of stuff

that you can find while skiing in the Dolomites

Musica nera su sfondo bianco! 

Di cosa si tratta? 

Scopritelo cliccando qui ?

______

And this picture is of the people 

of my Italian classes.

They have become, all of them

very good friends.

______

 AND - this is worth showing a second time !

______

Ciao a tutti e multi bacci

LAGO DI GARDA - SUD

_________________________________________________________________________________

The weekend of the 7th, 8th and 9th of March, we took the weekend to ourselves. This time we went to a 3 Stars Hotel in Colà di Lazise. Very nice hotel called Venetia Park. You will see it in the pictures. The Hotel was far from where we wanted to go but it was part of a gift that I have received. It is really close to Gardaland which is like a cheap Disneyland version. Close by were also ; MovieLand and a water park. 

The temperature was nearing 20 C and sunny. 
(Haters from Canada are gonna hate)

We had to use the service of a cab because were we wanted to go was to far for us to walk. Nice discovery - The taxi driver spoke a very good French that he learned in school and kept alive most likely with the many tourists who visit Lazise and the area.

The little town of Lazise is very old but also very charming as you will notice in the pictures. We walked lazily along the lake and the cute little streets. There was just a bit of tourists. Not too much. And quite a lot of shops and hotels were not open yet. We had supper at a quaint little restaurant called GRANNAR. Second best steak that I had in Italy. The entire personnel of the restaurant talked good French also and as usual when the atmosphere is good between the personnel and the customer (us, in this case) we were offered a Limoncello for Sylvie and a smooth Grappa for little 'ol' moi'. 

But our main goal, for this trip, was to visit the castle of Sirmione and the city. We have to admit that the castle surpassed our expectations. The Castle is beautiful, and inside it's Medieval walls, there is a 3 km walk from the Castle gate to the tip of the peninsula. The way is filled with little 'piazza' and little Via's. Lots of little shops for ; Gelato, pastries, bars, café, lunch, souvenirs, vegetables and fruits, jewellers, etc. Not many people live there but there are a few.  Most of the working stiff probably live outside the protection of the wall. Like in the good old days.......

There is a church that we didn't get to see. But we did see the Thermes of Sirmione like the photo shows. And we did see where Maria Calas lived for a period of her life. And we visited the Roman Ruins that must have been just so beautiful when it was standing. You will see with the pictures I took and hopefully get an idea of how big it was. The Romans knew how to live !

So, without any further ado, lets get to those pix...

* This time, my friend Howard will be happy because all the pictures are really mine. They were not borrowed from Facebook !!!

** The quality of the pictures is so/so for Lazise because they all come from my phone because I had forgotten my camera because I'm absent minded because I am stupid because... because...

One of the Piazza di Lazise

The Campanila from the XII Century

View of the Castle of Lazise but unfortunately it is not open to the public

Beautiful Crests

In the back, the Monument is for Soldiers who died for Italy

Lazise, typical village like so many around the lake

Proof that it's old - The church that is........

All in all  it was a very good day since we also manage to add 2 or 3 Lifers on both our Bird List

This is just to advertise what a Speed Trap looks like in Italy

 And this concludes LAZISE...

 Now lets get a look at Sirmione

Map showing position of Sirmione on Lake Garda.

The first traces of human presence in the area of Sirmione dates from the 6th-5th millennia BCE. Settlements on palafitte existed in the 3rd and 2nd millennia BCE.

Starting from the 1st century BCE, the area of the Garda, including what is now Sirmione, became a favourite resort for rich families coming from Verona, then the main Roman city in north-eastern Italy. The poet Catullus praised the beauties of the city and spoke of a villa he had in the area.

In the late Roman era (4th-5th centuries CE) the city became a fortified strongpoint defending the southern shore of the lake. A settlement existed also after the Lombard conquest of northern Italy: in the late years of the Lombard kingdom, the city was capital of a judiciary district directly subordinated to the king. Ansa, wife of King Desiderius, founded a monastery and a church in the city.

The Hotel where we stayed in Colà di Lazise

This is where we were left off by the taxi in Sirmione.
The castle that you will see below is the Entrance of the village
and inside the Castle the is an area of 3 KMs

First view of the Castle of Sirmione.
It dates from the early 13th century

A better view

Sylvie who got there all by herself even if she scared of hights

A tomb or a well from 1S93 (???)

Come on Sylvie
Do not look between the stairs

One of the many little terrasse
because in Italy I think the Law
says that there has to be Bar
a Gelateria, a Pastry Shop, a Tabachi
and a Souvenir shop
every 100 feet

This served to let the boats in to bring goods in the city

Another interesting Ritual that still exists in Italy
The married couples want to have pictures of them
taken along the biggest lake of Italy hoping that
it will influence something something something

Still in the Castle

The others following this picture are from the very top of the tower of the Castle

Sylvie had to go visit the little girls room
\which is her favorite site to visit ANYWHERE

OK ! So these holes in the walls are easy to understand
they served for the inside troupes to shoot the outside
and not get killed by doing it this way.

This is a bit more complicated...
What are these holes for ?
They are not on every wall

The interior is hollow.
So I think that MAYBE the guards used to put pieces of wood inside
to get on the higher part of the wall or to bring stuff up.

Here is a close up of one hole

Further down the road from the Castle we can still see part of the wall that surrounded the city

This was a nice surprise.
There is also a park named after her
I suppose that the intelligent thing that I should have done
would have been to take a picture of the actual house...
But that is asking too much of me !

The famous urban pipit that is seen all over the world

Sylvie on the Lido

This is the actual water of the lake.
Even though there are many boats on the Lago
the water is crystal clear and I would drink it

The main historical landmark of Sirmione is the Grotto of Catullus (Grotte di Catullo), the most striking example of a Roman private edifice discovered in northern Italy. The edifice had a rectangular plan and measured 167 x 105 m. The town is famous for its thermal springs. The building had a hot water pool and the bedrooms had view on the lake. I would have live here very easily !!!

 The prehistoric settlement at Lugana Vecchia
is part of the Prehistoric Pile dwellings around
the Alps a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

For those who do know this is what an
olive tree looks like up close and the next
picture is the entire tree

The next pictures speaks for themselves

I took a picture of these daffodile because they are yellow and pretty
Color blind my eye !!!

And now for some shameful advertisement........

My daughter Roxanne wrote a book. The story is in french and is a fantasy. This is the book 1 of I do not know how many and I wish her success in her writing.

It's in FRENCH - CLICK ME FOR THE LINK

Alora buon giorno, sera o notte a tutti
 A la prossima